Thursday, November 13, 2008

When you are angry with your child,

Equilibrium #105 - November 10, 2008

When you are angry with your child, remember who that is
from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness
Any parent who gets angry with his or her child (and what parent doesn’t?) usually does so with self-justified good reason. The reason is more often than not about a behaviour that seems unreasonable or unsafe or offensive in some way. Being angry is a natural reaction to such behaviours in anyone, especially our own children.

Being angry is one thing; how we show and act on that anger is another.

Here’s one rule of thumb before you react: remember that when you see or experience unacceptable behaviour in your own child, you are partly responding to the child who is still within you. Ask yourself about your own experiences and feelings as a child. What did you have, or not have from your own parents? How did they react to you in ways that felt positive or negative, fair or unfair to you? Always apply that rule of “Do Unto Others What You Would Have Them Do Unto You”, and you will be teaching the greatest lesson of all in interpersonal skills. And learning it at the same time.
In peace
You can catch Warren Redman at a couple of events in November. The first is at LaserHealth Solutions where he is giving a presentation on “Recipes for Inner Peace” on Saturday, November 15th. Contact us for information. The other is at the conference on Diversity and Mental Health on November 21st. Contact Helgi Eyford; phone: 403-943-6767
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Inner peace and outer chaos make fine partners

Equilibrium #104 November 3, 2008

Inner peace and outer chaos make fine partners
from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

This fear, or inner chaos, is what is inspiring the money market’s fall from great heights. It has little bearing on reality; instead it causes what becomes reality. As always, our energy will attract whatever we get and the fear of economic failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Imagine if nobody took any notice because we were all in a state of inner peace? While there will be inevitable effects from the greed and gross abuse of other people’s money that we have witnessed in the past few years, there would not be the panic and mayhem being caused.

There has never been, nor will ever be, a time in which there is no chaos somewhere in our world. If we succumb to and mirror that chaos by our inner fears and reactions, we will be overcome by the added burden. When we become more emotionally fit and achieve a greater degree of inner peace, no matter what is going on around us, we actually have a positive effect on that outer world.

Try it. It works.

In peace
You can catch Warren Redman at a couple of events in November. The first is at LaserHealth Solutions where he is giving a presentation on “Recipes for Inner Peace” on Saturday, November 15th. Contact us for information. The other is at the conference on Diversity and Mental Health on November 21st. Contact Helgi Eyford; phone: 403-943-6765
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Monday, October 27, 2008

This swamp may not be much, but it’s mine

Equilibrium #103 - October 27, 2008

This swamp may not be much, but it’s mine
from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

This is, perhaps, another way of saying “wherever you go, there you are”. Since you were born, you have been in your own place, and always a place of your own making. Like it or not, it’s yours; and here’s the point, you can make it just as you want it.

The “swamp” may be your physical environment, your home, place of work or wherever you hang out. It may also be the place in which you view yourself in life; how you see yourself fit into your community, your personal and professional world and the place where you feel you have arrived in your life.

The centre of your own being is within you. That’s your real swamp. And out of that swamp, just as it has been in nature, can emerge the unique individual that is your personal offering to the world. Even if you don’t think it’s much, just think about how special it is.

In peace

You can catch Warren Redman at a couple of events in November. The first is at LaserHealth Solutions where he is giving a presentation on “Recipes for Inner Peace” on Saturday, November 15th. Contact us for information. The other is at the conference on Diversity and Mental Health on November 21st. Contact Helgi Eyford; phone: 403-943-6765.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Point a finger at someone and you’ll see three fingers pointing back

Equilibrium #102, October 17, 2008

Point a finger at someone and you’ll see three fingers pointing back
from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Apportioning blame is a human trait arising from hurt and insecurity and will always come back to us. When you become aware that the person who mostly sends it back is yourself, you start to think twice before pointing the finger.

And don’t blame me if this briefest of messages causes you to feel a little guilty!

In peace
Last chance to train in Calgary with Warren Redman! If you have been thinking about training as an Emotional Fitness Coach and attending one of the courses that run in Calgary, October 20th is the last course that Warren will be running personally. Call or e-mail now to see how it can work for you.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, October 10, 2008

Equilibrium #101, October 9, 2008

State of Flux
a novel by Warren Redman

A thanks to those of you who, over the summer, gave me feedback on my manuscript “State of Flux”, which is a novel set in Canada and Europe and is a tale of four people searching for their destiny. While the vast majority gave what I could call “rave” reviews, I also appreciated the comments from the one or two who said it isn’t their kind of book.

There are still quite a few who have not yet made any comments (maybe you haven’t read it yet or didn’t like it and don’t know how to tell me.)

Whatever your feedback, I will find it very valuable. Oh, and if you didn’t ask for a copy (which I will send electronically) you can still do so. The deal is that you send me your critique of it in a paragraph or two.

In peace
Last chance to train in Calgary with Warren Redman! If you have been thinking about training as an Emotional Fitness Coach and attending one of the courses that run in Calgary, the upcoming one is the last that Warren will be running personally. Call or e-mail now to see how it can work for you.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

When Something Hurts

Equilibrium #100, September 29, 2008

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Very few people enjoy pain, whether it’s physical or emotional. We would rather escape from it in some way - if only we could. Physical pain, in today’s more medically sophisticated and wealthy societies, is relatively simple to alleviate. Emotional pain tends to be harder.

The connection between the two is clear; take the simple case of head, neck, stomach and back pains as a result of some emotional distress.

It’s all part of being human, both the incidence of pain and our desire to avoid it. But what if instead, we embraced the pain? Pain of all sorts is a signal to us that something is wrong. The more we attempt simply to cover it up, the less we are likely to uncover the source and deal with it in the healthiest and most helpful way possible.

You are familiar with the saying “no pain – no gain” (not one I particularly believe). Here’s another one: “no pain – no brain”. At least, when you are in pain you know you are alive. The best way I know to handle pain is to explore its root and use our inner resources to transform that pain into something that works for us.

In peace
Last chance to train in Calgary with Warren Redman! If you have been thinking about training as an Emotional Fitness Coach and attending one of the courses that run in Calgary, the upcoming one is the last that Warren will be running personally. Call or e-mail now to see how it can work for you.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Only Coincidence

Equilibrium September 15, 2008

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

It was Carl Jung who popularised the word “synchronicity” to describe apparently random and unconnected events that appear to take place in a connected way. Chaos theorists and others who advocate such concepts as the Law of Attraction recognize similar connections between two or more occurrences as being part of a universal design.

What fascinates me is that there are those for whom there are always connections and those for whom this is seldom, if ever true; who see each event that takes place in life as just another random one.

One person I know just saw himself as unlucky because accidents always seem to happen to him. No sooner has he got over one thing, than another takes place. Only now is he beginning to accept that there is a connection between them all – and it’s him!

The point is that he is now starting to notice how and why things occur and that they are a result of something that he has done, or not done. The “coincidence” of his “accidents” have now become noticeable to him.

The more aware we are of ourselves, our life, how we respond and connect and act, the more we see that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Instead, we get to understand how we can be more in control of our own lives and circumstances.

In peace

I’d love you to learn the techniques and processes that bring more personal power to others – and at the same time bring satisfaction and rewards to you. Give me a call now to see how you can become an Emotional Fitness Coach.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Journey.....

Equilibrium August 26, 2008

The journey into our emotions, into “inner space”, is possibly the last
great journey left for humankind.

Here’s a quote from the late great George Carlin, just sent to me by a friend of mine. I think it says it all:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin

In peace
And now, check out this new video clip.
See how you can help people conquer “inner space” and reap rewards for yourself.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


It’s hard to be so self-aware that we understand how other people see us. I was reminded of that (again) when working with a couple recently. I asked them each to say what they had heard the other say and to get as much as they could into their partner’s shoes in describing what they felt.

They tried; they really did, although it was a challenge for them. Three interesting things happened. One was that each of them described what they thought the other person said and felt with what seemed to be reasonable accuracy from what I had observed. The second thing was that both of them denied that they felt that way. As one said, “I don’t feel like that at all – at least I don’t think so.” The third thing that emerged was that, in turn, each later said that they did feel just as their partner had said, and hadn’t realized it.

It is quite amazing how accurately our innate sensors pick up on the feelings of others. Almost as amazing is how unaware we are of how we are feeling at any given time. We give out the signals quite sub-consciously, hoping, perhaps that someone else will pick up on them. The sad thing is that most people don’t know what to do with what they receive. All we know is that what you feel is what we get.
In peace
Congratulations to our latest Emotional Fitness Coach. Maria Schmid, who is also completing her training as a certified psychologist, is now licensed as an EFit Coach and is practicing in Calgary. Contact me now to find out how you can join Maria and the other certified Emotional Fitness Coaches wherever you are.
If you enjoyed Equilibrium of August 13, 2008 please reply with your comments or feedback. If you are sharing this with others please be sure to quote my name in full and my website Thank you.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, August 1, 2008

Assumptions Are The Death of Communication

Equilibrium August 1, 2008


“I thought you said you’d done that.” “No, I said I’d need more time and some training before I could complete it.” “Well, I assumed you were getting the training.” “No, I was waiting for you to train me.”

This was the gist of a conversation I overheard recently in a coffee bar between two people working in the head office of a large corporation. Couples make the same kind of assumptions, each thinking that the other said or meant something that never got checked out until, perhaps, they talk it through in front of me.

Everywhere, in small and large organizations, in families and across communities, communication breaks down because we make assumptions based on what we believe instead of listening and understanding what the other actually means.

Our Emotional Fitness training and coaching enables individuals, couples, teams and organizations to create internal environments where they can truly communicate in a way that brings the best out of everyone.

Once we become more emotionally fit, it is easier to set aside the inner voices that prevent us from seeing and hearing clearly. Check out your own assumptions next time you have a conversation – and don’t assume that the other person is the one who has to change!

In peace
Train now as an Emotional Fitness Coach. Wherever you are, you can learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. Don’t assume you can’t do it! Contact me now to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Calling All Dads!

Equilibrium July 24, 2008


BE A GREAT DAD – building your legacy is the title of a new CD produced by Warren Redman in conjunction with Families Matter, a Calgary-based not-for-profit organization dedicated to the healthy development and well-being of families.

The CD is a series of interviews with dads, kids and moms about the five things great dads do. Also on the disc is a special excerpt of a story from Stuart McLean.

If you’re a dad, make sure you get this for yourself. And for the rest of you, give this as a great gift to any dad you know.

You can now purchase this audio CD online through us. Most of the proceeds will go to Families Matter to go back into their development work with fathers.

In peace
You can train now as Emotional Fitness Coaches at a distance. Wherever you are, you can learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. It’s your choice! Contact me now to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, July 18, 2008

Having No Choice Is A Personal Option

Equilibrium July 18, 2008

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Last week I was in the UK spending time with family members – something that doesn’t happen often for me these days. It was the occasion of my father’s 90th birthday. He was surrounded by his children and most of his grandchildren.

During the conversations and the memories they evoked, I found myself drawn into times when, as a young boy, I felt frustrated because it appeared that I had no choice in how my life was being mapped out for me.

It may be true that when we are small children, our choices are pretty limited in terms of the big things in life. One of the things we need to learn as we develop and grow into adulthood is that we always have a choice.

When you hear yourself say that you have no choice but to continue this or that, or that you can’t take a decision to change something in your life, you are reverting to an old childhood pattern of feeling powerless. You can make the excuses that you lack resources, time or money, or that other people would be upset. In the end choosing not to do or to do what in your heart you really want is solely within your power.

When I was in England I went to visit an old and dear friend who is battling the return of a cancer that has been dogging her for years. In the past she has always fought it off; this time the signs are not good. Her choice is to face each day with joy and determination to move ahead with her life enthusiastically.

What’s your choice?

In peace
You can train now as Emotional Fitness Coaches at a distance. Wherever you are, you can learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. It’s your choice! Contact me now to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Monoatheistic Entity (ME)

By Warren Redman
The recent spate of books and movies promoting the idea of God and spirituality or refuting the concept of a deity indicate one thing – God is big business. Put God or some similar highly spiritually evocative name in the title of your book and you’ll sell a ton. The entrancement of humans with the desire to make sense of ourselves, our universe and all that’s in it and to explain the otherwise inexplicable is one of the main phenomena that distinguishes humans from any other living entity. Not only do we need to explain; we need something to hang on to when doubt creeps in. Furthermore, those who believe in a “higher power”, or creator or God or other form of external entity that has a mysterious power over our fate and our world have a tendency to see themselves as more highly evolved than those who don’t.

Recent research has indicated that those living in secular as distinct from religiously-based countries are more likely to be content and at peace with themselves and their neighbours. This runs counter to conventional wisdom and raises some interesting questions. One of these questions is “how does the myth that religion brings about inner peace survive the facts?” Another is “what do people who don’t believe in God actually believe in that makes them more content?” A third is “what makes people stick to their religious beliefs in the face of apparently overwhelming lack of evidence that God exists?” I will have a mild attempt at answering these questions, partly to help myself understand them and partly to invite your debate. Most of all, I want to answer a fourth question: “in the absence of a belief in God what core belief can a person hold that takes us to the highest level of humanity?”

How does the myth that religion brings about inner peace survive the facts?

At least two of the world’s great religions – Christianity and Islam – have as part of their basis in the belief that our real bliss and inner peace and happiness is promised in the afterlife. A significant message to believers, or promised to those who can be brought into the faith, is that you will receive the blessings for this presently lived life in heaven. Struggle, therefore, becomes a virtue and is accepted by the millions who face everyday deprivation, misery and unhappiness because their reward will come as long as they pray and as long as they give themselves selflessly to the teachings of their particular religious branch. Facts, therefore, become irrelevant or easily refutable to those who hold onto their faith as a fact in itself.

What do people who don’t believe in God actually believe in that makes them more content?

A researcher, or rather a body of research might attempt an answer which would always fall short of anyone really knowing what disbelievers believe in. My own thoughts are simply that, based on my limited experience of being in other people’s minds and only my own inner searching to go on. It appears, on the face of it, that disbelievers generally don’t believe in anything specific at all; it is simply the absence of belief. The result of that, while not leading people to any great depth of thought or insights into who they are, at least has the possibility of them being free from doubt, fear and antipathy to others of different views. The absence of religious belief, therefore, also provides a stronger basis for the absence of negative beliefs.

The absence of a faith does not necessarily mean the absence of a belief. Atheists, agnostics, humanists are all examples of people who have thought out their views and adhere to a set of principles to which they adhere in life, usually of their own making or based on the values espoused by the societies or groups to which they attach themselves. Since there is no promotion of such beliefs, or organized attempts to bring people into the “fold”, those who hold views of this nature tend to hold them independently and are not easily identifiable. This in itself may serve to bring contentment.

What makes people stick to their religious beliefs in the face of apparently overwhelming lack of evidence that God exists?

Those who have religious beliefs have the belief itself as their evidence. If they believe in the bible, that is all the evidence they need. If they believe in the word of their priest or imam or other religious leader, no other evidence is needed. Only those who disbelieve would require evidence of the existence of God. The result is that a believer will never persuade a disbeliever or vice-versa. In-between, however, there are many who have doubts. These are the ones who become potential members of a religious group, and who keep the proselytizers continuing their efforts to add to their numbers. The doubters, who don’t find something to hold onto are also the ones who may experience life as more complicated and difficult and who, when they do “find religion” become the most ardent advocates of their chosen faith.

In the absence of a belief in God what core belief can a person hold that takes us to the highest level of humanity?

To answer this question I want to take a very idiosyncratic approach and to coin a word that demands an explanation. Monoatheism may seem something of a non-sequitur (as well as a mouthful), but it describes most aptly what I do believe. Before I go on to describe its meaning, I have to add another category of belief to the general understanding of religion, that is the belief in the efficacy of psychological typing, from Meyers Briggs, to the Enneagram, to Emotional Intelligence (or EQ) testing, among a barrage of others. The fervour that accompanies such instruments and their proponents is almost as strong as that of any religious sect.

As a Monoatheistic Entity (ME) I have the freedom to be me, together with the responsibility that goes with it and the complete accountability for my actions. To become a ME is not an easy option. It is a journey of intense and continuing personal growth, of learning from sometimes painful experience, of exploration and trial and error as well as the more formal education and personal study that provides a variety of others’ viewpoints. Monoatheism is the term I use for a belief in the one, unique and quite extraordinary individual who is me. It demands that I hold myself to the highest values in which I believe: that is firstly to hold others as being unique and extraordinary individuals, deserving the same respect, wanting and capable of the same love, having their own personal beliefs and values and potential for reaching their dearest goals in life.
Being a ME also means attaining a personal degree of emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual (yes!) fitness to the highest level of one’s potential abilities, without succumbing to the exhortations of others to fit into a mould of their making. This not only includes the pressures to join organized religious groups, or to fit into neatly-packaged psychological and sociological stereotypes, but also the whims of societies that create desires for products of little value apart from the apparent status they impart to the owner and the added wealth it brings to the producer.

A Monoatheistic Entity will learn from religious writings, as well as from philosophers, historians, artists and other creative minds. But the ME will learn more from his or her own personal experiences and own fertile imagination. Putting that experience to good use, the ME knows that the path s/he is on and the legacy s/he has to offer is a unique one. The ME understands and accepts that there is no life after death and that the soul has existence only in the living being. It is our duty to bring value to the living and the unborn. The souls of the dead exist as long as they are within the consciousness of the living.

The best example of this in my own experience is that of my great-grandfather, who died in 1947, when I was seven years old. As long as I hold not only his memory, but the essence of him within me, he will remain an entity that lives on. I will do my best to pass on the knowledge of him through me to my children and others, so that his light continues. But it exists only in us. It is not a free-floating entity that roams around in some mysterious way looking for a place to alight.

So it is with God. God can only exist if humans allow it to be so. Humans created the concept of God to deal with the vast unknowingness that faced early communities. It explained so much and, to the delight of men and women who loved storytelling, fitted perfectly within that tradition. It was also a superb way of organizing society and retaining control over it for those who enjoyed the wielding of power.

The core belief of the ME is at least as strongly held as that of any believer in God. The ethical values and integrity of the ME are based, not on externally imposed rules, but on the set of life principles that are part of the ME’s commitment to personal growth.

Monoatheism is therefore a choice of personal challenge, human development and belief in the value and uniqueness in the one entity that is constant from birth to death – the self. And since that belief is one which acknowledges all others as having the same value and uniqueness, it is one of acceptance and of love. It is an attainment of the highest level of humanity. And by definition, nobody has to join!

© Warren Redman, July 2008

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Something To Read This Summer

Equilibrium July 2, 2008

If you enjoy reading fiction, I invite you to read an as yet unpublished novel of mine. It’s called “State of Flux” and is about four people searching for meaning in their lives. It involves romance, spiritual growth, intrigue and mystery.

I will send you an electronic copy if you let me know that you’d like one. All I ask is that you let me have your opinion of the book once you have read it. Just reply to this message and make your request.

This week I will be visiting the U.K. spending time mostly with family and celebrating my dad’s 90th birthday. On which note, watch out for news about the CD that I have just completed with the organization Families Matter. It’s called “Be a Great Dad – building your legacy” and features interviews with dads, moms and kids as well as a story from Stuart McLean.
In peace
You can train now as Emotional Fitness Coaches at a distance. Wherever you are, you can learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. Contact me now to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Next Time You Breathe, Notice It Is A Miracle

Equilibrium June 20, 2008


Taking things for granted is the way most of us live our lives; right up until we see or experience something that brings us up sharply. Flicking on a light switch or turning on the tap for a kettle of water may be an automatic and casual act to us. To the mother sitting holding her starving child in Ethiopia or the father trying to protect his family in Afghanistan those tiny acts would be seen as miracles.

Miracles are not those rare, cataclysmic and mind-altering events that only seem to happen to others; they are the tiny things in our everyday lives. We just need to notice them.

Part of the role of an Emotional Fitness Coach is to mirror back to you the experiences you are having in a way that encourages you to see them as little short of miraculous. When a client of one of our coaches recently told her that he had just been through one of the hardest periods of his life and went on to describe the traumas he had faced, she was able to help him to see the inner strength that enabled him to seek support, something he had not done before.

“You’re right,” he reflected. “It’s a miracle for me to have asked anyone for help. I always believed that I had to work everything out for myself. Now that I’ve started doing this I realize how much I’ve been missing.”

We can create the small, personal miracles for ourselves whenever we want. It helps to notice the miracles first, like being alive; like breathing.

In peace
You can train now as Emotional Fitness Coaches at a distance. Wherever you are, you can learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. It’s a miracle! Contact me now to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

There Are Four L's in Life:

Equilibrium June 11, 2008


One of the processes we use in Emotional Fitness is called the Lifescale. It consists of ten questions, which together help us make sense of the balance we have between our satisfactions and frustrations in life. Each question has a key word that happens to begin with P, such as Pleasure and Pain, Peace or Pressure.

As a fan of cryptic crosswords and word games generally, as well as being a writer, I am fascinated by how we use words to express our feelings and beliefs. There is a power to the words we use that can change whole perspectives and ways of living.

If you care to try a definition of life (without being technical about it) you might find it daunting and even unrewarding. If you look at its meaning, you may get into so many hypothetical possibilities that you go around in circles. If, however, you take the particular perspective I offer here and use the first letter of life to stand for love, laughter, listening and learning, what happens?

Let me know. And while you’re at it, come up with other possibilities – for example, the four H’s in Human are Hope, Happiness, Health, and Heart.

In peace
I’m now working with people who wish to train as Emotional Fitness Coaches at a distance. Wherever you are, you can now learn the tools to enable you to offer the most empowering coaching approach available. Contact me to find out how you can begin.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Moment of Truth Comes Any Time You Want To Hear It

Equilibrium June 2, 2008


There comes a time when we will each be confronted by a life-changing event or decision. Perhaps you have already faced one or two of those in your life. You will understand what I mean if you have.

Frequently, the people who ask for Emotional Fitness coaching have recently faced or had a cathartic experience. Maybe it is the loss of a job or a relationship, or the gaining or losing of a big contract. Sometimes it is the dawning realization that life must have something better to offer than the strains of everyday pressures giving little peace of mind and growing dissatisfactions.

In those times, we get to tune in to messages that have been there all the time, yet which we seldom hear. The messages include the fact that we are always in charge of our life as long as we are conscious about that and decide to choose how we want to live it. They include the understanding that our world is exactly the one we construct, and if we don’t like it, we can change it.

The real truth is that we are hugely powerful. Face that and you have faced the real truth about yourself.

In peace
Attend our introductory session on June 12th in the morning and discover how to become an Emotional Fitness Coach. These are the skills proven to be of great benefit to leaders within the workplace, in groups and in individual practices. Give a call now to register.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Put Your Buts Into A Can

Equilibrium May 26 , 2008


There is nothing wrong with that little word but, but I take care how I use it, since an over or inappropriate use gives the message that I negate myself.

Emotional Fitness includes the ability to consciously choose our language and how we use words to express ourselves. Words are powerful. A small word like but has the power to undo hopes and dreams. Used often enough with our children, or our employees or spouse, we can create doubt and indecision.

One dad I know with two very energetic and bright young sons responds to their requests and occasionally downright outrageous ideas for what they want by asking how can we do that? instead of the perhaps more common one of, but we do not have the money (or nobody has done that before, or you will never be able to learn that in time …..).

When you hear a but come out of your mouth, or even circulate around your brain, check the meaning behind it. Transforming that but into a can is one way of opening out the possibilities instead of closing them down. Imagine what that can do to a life.
In peace
I have just finished the workshop in Ottawa this past weekend. I will be back in Calgary and ready to start the distance learning course for those who wish to train as Emotional Fitness Coaches. Contact me now if you want to take part or to join the Emotional Fitness Coach Training by Modules that begins in Calgary in June.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

We Can All Win The Human Race

Equilibrium May 12 , 2008


It’s not a race. We are, but it isn’t. Oddly we do often appear to act as though we are not from the same species and that, indeed, the race is on to be better than the other guy or to have more and show more success in whatever way we deem it.

The fact is that there are comparatively few winners and a huge number of losers in the way in which the chips have fallen and we humans have responded. We still act as our ancestors did, willing to climb over the person in front of us to get to the top. Of course, within the safe confines of our micro-chip consumer world in corporate settings within affluent societies, the desire to win comes through politely and subtly; in the undercurrent of snide remarks or the deliberate silent treatment targeted at a colleague.

It’s not as harsh a punishment as the withholding of economic aid and empowerment of communities in starving communities, but it has its toll on the whole human race.

There are different forms of winning. If in a business deal or an agreement between a parent and a child we can see that it’s possible to have a “win-win”, then it follows that we could all win from a willingness to live by the principle that what’s important in life is not to have more than we can possibly consume but rather what we hold as values. Truth, love, sincerity and safety for all are a few starting points. There’s enough to go around.

In peace
The world needs more Emotional Fitness Coaches. If you are seeking greater fulfilment in your work and already have a background in personal growth, take a look at what this training can do for you.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Love Doesn't Come With An "If"

Equilibrium May 1 , 2008


Sure, there are some things that are conditional, and are entitled to be. Trust counts among them; entering into a business contract is another; agreeing to take on another responsibility a third. Love is not one. There can be nothing conditional about love, or it is not love.

We humans have an apparently limitless capacity for love, both in its giving and in its receiving. At the same time, we have an equally surprising ability to deny ourselves and others of that love. Self-doubt, fear and anger can so often obscure our innate and authentic self that the scraps of love we are willing to offer and accept become conditional, so that the little attempts we make can disappear altogether.

You may be thinking of the ones close to you whom you love. I’d like you to think more widely than that, and perhaps differently about how you can show your capacity for love. Think about how you show your love as a boss, or a work colleague, or a lawyer, dentist or storekeeper. Think about the unconditional love you can demonstrate to your neighbour, or the stranger you meet in the gym.

The “if” that gets in the way could be the internal voice that says “I’m angry with this person because the work hasn’t been finished properly”, or “this person won’t want to talk to me”, or “that person looks too busy (or intimidating, or unfriendly etc.). Set aside those inner messages for a moment and offer the greatest gift of love that one human can freely give another. Listen.

In peace

A couple of spaces are left for our new Emotional Fitness for Leaders. Check it out. For information click on our training section in the website. The first workshop is May 8th and 9th. And when you are ready to explore being an Emotional Fitness Coach, we are ready for you with our new modular course series beginning at the end of May, our distance learning and the next class-room program in October.

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Equilibrium April 17, 2008


In the universal human search for meaning, there are almost as many answers as there are people. This is often organized into our religions, cultures, nations and communities. Victor Frankl, wrote much of his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” while encarcerated in the Nazi concentration camp of Auschwitz. My own mentor and teacher, Eugene Heimler was a contemporary of Frankl and was another survivor of Auschwitz. Heimler’s books included “Survival in Society” which eventually became the basis for my own work and books.

Both of those great teachers sought to understand life’s meaning, largely as a result of their living in a totally negative and, one might imagine, meaningless environment. What they wrote about was their own experience. This brings me to the conclusion that the meaning of life - its whole point – is simply to experience it. And our duty is to relate our experience. And listen to the experience of others.

That’s how we will learn. And grow. And hopefully, never allow anyone to experience the same again. At home, in our work places, in our relationships with others, when we create the opportunity to share experience, everyone’s lives become more meaningful and worthwhile.
In peace

Are you, or do you know, a leader wanting to create a different, more positive working environment? If so, the new Emotional Fitness for Leaders workshop series could be the ideal way forward. For information click on our training section in the website. The first workshop is May 8th and 9th.
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)
Equilibrium April 8, 2008


Here’s one of the quotes that I didn’t think up – it’s an old one that I recall from my childhood and one that has become more pertinent the more I hear people talk without the evidence of any action.

One of the key elements that constitutes the 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness is that each one of them moves inevitably to a change of understanding and ultimately to changed behaviour. In other words, this is not just talk; it is a call to action. I am often asked whether Emotional Fitness is coaching or counselling and what the difference is anyway. Our work at the Emotional Fitness Institute doesn’t fit neatly into either category; it is a discipline in its own right.

Being emotionally fit doesn’t simply mean feeling better about ourselves, it also means that we act in a way that is harmonious with our thoughts, words and feelings. In our world of greed, self-righteousness and discord, it is tough to be true to our personal ideals in a way that is authentic and a demonstration of how humans can behave in ways that respects all.

Forty years after his death, we can still admire the work and life of Martin Luther King who was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure that his words had substance and made a difference. But how many of us are prepared to do more than just the talking?

In peace

Take a look for the new modular training programs we are now offering. One is specifically designed for Leaders, the other for those who wish to become Emotional Fitness Coaches.


(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, March 28, 2008

The Less I Know That I Know, The Wiser I Become

Equilibrium March 27, 2008


To many people this is the Knowledge Age and knowledge workers have been in high demand in industries of all kinds for almost a generation.

All the signs are pointing to a change. If you haven’t noticed it, this is because it has crept upon us and has hardly entered the consciousness yet. Daniel Pink, in his ground-breaking book A Whole New Mind has pointed out the change. His take on that change is that we are moving from the emphasis on left-brain thinking to right brain consciousness; that is to say to the creative side of ourselves.

My own belief is that we need to move to the Age of Wisdom. Humans need to grow up, and grow up fast. I won’t bore you with why we need to do this – you already know why. Instead I want to say what that means to me.

Wisdom is the ability to listen and attend to what is real. It is the humility to know that we know very little in the context of the wonder that is the universe and the drama that is humanity. It is the courage to be authentic and at the same time to value the uniqueness of others in their diversity. It is the willingness to take risks and to seek new ways to find solutions to old challenges, while knowing that the simpler the way, the more likely the chance of success.

Above all, perhaps, wisdom is the acceptance that our world is a reflection of us and that to change anything in the world it is first necessary to become everything that we desire of the world.

In peace

Congratulations and welcome to Kathy Chury who is our most recently certified Emotional Fitness Coach. Kathy is a registered nurse. You can find her on the website under Our Team.
Warren Redman
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

There Is Always Another Hand

Equilibrium March 7, 2008


Remember the line in “Fiddler on the Roof”? Tevya debated endlessly with himself about his daughters (on the one hand this, and on the other hand that) until he finally lost patience and declared, “There is no other hand!”

For him, at that point of his frustration, there appeared to be no other way than the one he had traditionally been taught. Certainly, when our most cherished values are under attack, we will decide what is absolutely right for us and act on that. Even then, there are as many points of view as there are unique individuals living.

When I recently wrote about spirituality and religion, several comments from different people claimed that their version of the truth is the one. The stronger the faith, the less willingness it appears there is to accept another’s. I’m hot on supporting the first, but little gets me angrier than the lack of acceptance between people.

My take on it is that we can all hold our personal beliefs and still offer a hand to others who may want our support and acceptance without wanting to convert them to our way of thinking. That way there will always be another hand.

In peace

Congratulations to a few of our Emotional Fitness Coaches.

Jo-Ann Pawliw has a contract to coach the management and sales team of an international retail store that is already the most successful in North America and wants to be better.

Kelly Robbins has been elected the Canadian representative for Mrs. International and will be entering the world finals in Chicago.

Bruce Rosove is now developing the Emotional Fitness Institute in Ottawa and is hosting a workshop there in May. Check out the new Ottawa page in the website.

Warren Redman

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Without Change We Are Destitute

Equilibrium February 27, 2008


Change is, as the saying goes, the only constant. It is also the thing that most of us resist, even when the change appears positive, and certainly when the change seems out of our control.
And yet every change, large or small, is another opportunity for growth, for learning and for a new discovery of who we are and how we handle life’s experiences.

A young man I know (I’ll call him Grant), has an unusual capacity for resisting any kind of change. He sticks in a job that he doesn’t like; he goes only to the places that he is familiar with; he won’t try anything to eat that he hasn’t had before (this makes for a very restricted menu!) and he backs away from conversation that may stretch his comfort level. He appears to limit himself so much by avoiding any kind of potential change or challenge, that he has created a cocoon of apparent safety that protects him from any of life’s adventures.

On the other hand, perhaps Grant is not so unusual. If he is a mirror for even a piece of you, ask yourself if you don’t feel a little lacking, a little stuck. Hand yourself some small change – there is plenty to spare – and you won’t have to be destitute.

In peace

The prices of our books in Canadian dollars have been reduced to reflect the exchange rate with the U.S., even though they are published in Canada. Check out the books on the websites and pick up something for yourself and as a gift for someone you care about.
Warren Redman
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Don't Be a Back-seat Driver in Your Own Life

Equilibrium February 15 , 2008


Some months ago I listened to a woman (let’s call her Kate) calling me long-distance. “I should have taken that opportunity when it came up,” she told me. “Now I feel it’s passed me by.”

A few minutes later she wondered out loud if she should leave her current comfortable but far from challenging job to pursue a career in the area that was of great interest to her. As she talked about it I could hear the energy in her voice rising. In another moment, her tone flattening once more, she said “I don’t think it’s sensible to make such a move right now; why would I want to take that kind of risk until I’m sure I could make it work?”

Kate seemed to be listening to the cautious, though well-meaning, voices in her head that didn’t belong to her. It transpired that she had held herself back through her whole life because she wanted to please others who wanted her to ‘be happy’ and ‘not do anything foolish’. It was as though she was not driving her own life but rather sitting in the back seat watching for any danger spots in the road and calling out to whoever was driving to be careful.

Last week, on our regular call, she reported that she had landed her first big contract in her new business and was enthusiastic about the year ahead for the first time that she could remember.

She was in the driving-seat, going in the direction she wanted and enjoying every minute.

In peace

Friday, February 1, 2008

Spiirituality Unifies Humanity

Equilibrium February 1 , 2008


Little causes more heated debate and potentially hurt feelings than the topic of religion between people of differing opinions and faiths. While religious values and tradition have been of great comfort to millions of people, it has also caused enmity between neighbours, civil strife and even wars that have led to the annihilation of at least as many millions.

Of course, it is seldom the religion itself that advocates any hatred or violence, or even non-acceptance of others, but the righteousness of its proponents who cannot believe that another’s belief is as good as his or hers. “Your God isn’t as good as my God” quickly converts into “You are not as good as me.”

Underlying all religions is the sense of spirituality that forms their basis. What would that sense of spirit be like without being attached to any religion? What would it be like not attached to any concept of God, or a “higher power”?

My very personal view is that we have had to create that concept of God in order to deal with the wonder and mystery of life, which is too vast a question for any human to understand. Instead of being content to accept the wonder, we have to explain it. If we were to let that go we could be spiritual without being religious. And once we are in a state of wonder without explanation, I believe we are in the state of spiritual awareness that embraces all individuals.

No, I don’t expect to change the world with this message. I do hope to provoke some thoughtful discussion, and maybe even some heightened unity among my friends of many different beliefs.

In peace

February 26th is the date for the start of the next Emotional Fitness Coach Training course. Don’t delay if you are interested. Give me a call or send an e-mail and let’s discuss how you can learn a hugely powerful set of coaching tools for yourself that is available nowhere else. COMING SOON! Watch out for a new format to the course – a modular approach so that you can create your own flexible program.
Warren Redman
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Friday, January 18, 2008

Richness of the Soul

Equilibrium January 18, 2008

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Money isn’t everything, as the saying goes, but it sure helps. Sadly, the amount of energy put into attaining money does make it look as though it is everything to most people. The very fact that wealthy people always seem to seek more money reinforces that image.

I have worked with some extremely wealthy individuals and others who have hardly anything to call their own. Most come somewhere in between. They have varying concerns about money, although interestingly not necessarily in proportion to how much or little they have.

More of a common question has to do with identity. Once they reach behind their outward appearance and material trappings, they probe for the inner sense of who they are. They begin to dig for the soul.

There is to be found the greatest treasure of all. This is no quest for the Holy Grail, the answer to life’s mysteries, or the so-called “secret”. This is a more satisfying and enduring adventure of self-discovery. Once you reach out for that inner sense of who you really are and have touched and celebrated your own uniqueness, you have glimpsed into your soul. Keep exploring and you will find ever-growing seams of richness. As you do that, watch what happens.

Your relationships will blossom, your authentic self comes out in your leadership abilities, you are at peace with yourself. And you become more successful in all areas of your life.
In peace
This is already shaping up to be a good year, no matter what the markets are saying. We will be helping more people gain Emotional Fitness so that they can use it for the benefit of others, whether in their families or in their corporations. We’ll do this by training more of you as Emotional Fitness Coaches and Instructors. Are you ready to join us? Courses are ongoing. Check it out at and give me a call.

Warren Redman
(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)