Love Doesn't Come With An "If"

Equilibrium May 1 , 2008

LOVE DOESN’T COME WITH AN “IF”

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Sure, there are some things that are conditional, and are entitled to be. Trust counts among them; entering into a business contract is another; agreeing to take on another responsibility a third. Love is not one. There can be nothing conditional about love, or it is not love.

We humans have an apparently limitless capacity for love, both in its giving and in its receiving. At the same time, we have an equally surprising ability to deny ourselves and others of that love. Self-doubt, fear and anger can so often obscure our innate and authentic self that the scraps of love we are willing to offer and accept become conditional, so that the little attempts we make can disappear altogether.

You may be thinking of the ones close to you whom you love. I’d like you to think more widely than that, and perhaps differently about how you can show your capacity for love. Think about how you show your love as a boss, or a work colleague, or a lawyer, dentist or storekeeper. Think about the unconditional love you can demonstrate to your neighbour, or the stranger you meet in the gym.

The “if” that gets in the way could be the internal voice that says “I’m angry with this person because the work hasn’t been finished properly”, or “this person won’t want to talk to me”, or “that person looks too busy (or intimidating, or unfriendly etc.). Set aside those inner messages for a moment and offer the greatest gift of love that one human can freely give another. Listen.

In peace

Warren

A couple of spaces are left for our new Emotional Fitness for Leaders. Check it out. For information click on our training section in the website. The first workshop is May 8th and 9th. And when you are ready to explore being an Emotional Fitness Coach, we are ready for you with our new modular course series beginning at the end of May, our distance learning and the next class-room program in October.

Warren

www.EFitInstitute.com warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Equilibrium April 17, 2008

THE POINT OF LIFE MAY JUST BE TO EXPERIENCE IT

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

In the universal human search for meaning, there are almost as many answers as there are people. This is often organized into our religions, cultures, nations and communities. Victor Frankl, wrote much of his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” while encarcerated in the Nazi concentration camp of Auschwitz. My own mentor and teacher, Eugene Heimler was a contemporary of Frankl and was another survivor of Auschwitz. Heimler’s books included “Survival in Society” which eventually became the basis for my own work and books.

Both of those great teachers sought to understand life’s meaning, largely as a result of their living in a totally negative and, one might imagine, meaningless environment. What they wrote about was their own experience. This brings me to the conclusion that the meaning of life - its whole point – is simply to experience it. And our duty is to relate our experience. And listen to the experience of others.

That’s how we will learn. And grow. And hopefully, never allow anyone to experience the same again. At home, in our work places, in our relationships with others, when we create the opportunity to share experience, everyone’s lives become more meaningful and worthwhile.

In peace
Warren

Are you, or do you know, a leader wanting to create a different, more positive working environment? If so, the new Emotional Fitness for Leaders workshop series could be the ideal way forward. For information click on our training section in the website. The first workshop is May 8th and 9th.

Warren

http://www.efitinstitute.com/ warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

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Equilibrium April 8, 2008

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THERE’S A LOT MORE SAID THAN DONE

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Here’s one of the quotes that I didn’t think up – it’s an old one that I recall from my childhood and one that has become more pertinent the more I hear people talk without the evidence of any action.

One of the key elements that constitutes the 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness is that each one of them moves inevitably to a change of understanding and ultimately to changed behaviour. In other words, this is not just talk; it is a call to action. I am often asked whether Emotional Fitness is coaching or counselling and what the difference is anyway. Our work at the Emotional Fitness Institute doesn’t fit neatly into either category; it is a discipline in its own right.

Being emotionally fit doesn’t simply mean feeling better about ourselves, it also means that we act in a way that is harmonious with our thoughts, words and feelings. In our world of greed, self-righteousness and discord, it is tough to be true to our personal ideals in a way that is authentic and a demonstration of how humans can behave in ways that respects all.

Forty years after his death, we can still admire the work and life of Martin Luther King who was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure that his words had substance and made a difference. But how many of us are prepared to do more than just the talking?

In peace
Warren

Take a look for the new modular training programs we are now offering. One is specifically designed for Leaders, the other for those who wish to become Emotional Fitness Coaches.

Warren

www.EFitInstitute.com warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

The Less I Know That I Know, The Wiser I Become

Equilibrium March 27, 2008

THE LESS I KNOW THAT I KNOW, THE WISER I BECOME

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

To many people this is the Knowledge Age and knowledge workers have been in high demand in industries of all kinds for almost a generation.

All the signs are pointing to a change. If you haven’t noticed it, this is because it has crept upon us and has hardly entered the consciousness yet. Daniel Pink, in his ground-breaking book A Whole New Mind has pointed out the change. His take on that change is that we are moving from the emphasis on left-brain thinking to right brain consciousness; that is to say to the creative side of ourselves.

My own belief is that we need to move to the Age of Wisdom. Humans need to grow up, and grow up fast. I won’t bore you with why we need to do this – you already know why. Instead I want to say what that means to me.

Wisdom is the ability to listen and attend to what is real. It is the humility to know that we know very little in the context of the wonder that is the universe and the drama that is humanity. It is the courage to be authentic and at the same time to value the uniqueness of others in their diversity. It is the willingness to take risks and to seek new ways to find solutions to old challenges, while knowing that the simpler the way, the more likely the chance of success.

Above all, perhaps, wisdom is the acceptance that our world is a reflection of us and that to change anything in the world it is first necessary to become everything that we desire of the world.

In peace
Warren

Congratulations and welcome to Kathy Chury who is our most recently certified Emotional Fitness Coach. Kathy is a registered nurse. You can find her on the website under Our Team.

Warren Redman

www.EFitInstitute.com warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

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There Is Always Another Hand

Equilibrium March 7, 2008

THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER HAND

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Remember the line in “Fiddler on the Roof”? Tevya debated endlessly with himself about his daughters (on the one hand this, and on the other hand that) until he finally lost patience and declared, “There is no other hand!”

For him, at that point of his frustration, there appeared to be no other way than the one he had traditionally been taught. Certainly, when our most cherished values are under attack, we will decide what is absolutely right for us and act on that. Even then, there are as many points of view as there are unique individuals living.

When I recently wrote about spirituality and religion, several comments from different people claimed that their version of the truth is the one. The stronger the faith, the less willingness it appears there is to accept another’s. I’m hot on supporting the first, but little gets me angrier than the lack of acceptance between people.

My take on it is that we can all hold our personal beliefs and still offer a hand to others who may want our support and acceptance without wanting to convert them to our way of thinking. That way there will always be another hand.

In peace
Warren

Congratulations to a few of our Emotional Fitness Coaches.

Jo-Ann Pawliw has a contract to coach the management and sales team of an international retail store that is already the most successful in North America and wants to be better.

Kelly Robbins has been elected the Canadian representative for Mrs. International and will be entering the world finals in Chicago.

Bruce Rosove is now developing the Emotional Fitness Institute in Ottawa and is hosting a workshop there in May. Check out the new Ottawa page in the website.

Warren Redman

http://www.blogger.com/ warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

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Without Change We Are Destitute

Equilibrium February 27, 2008

WITHOUT ANY CHANGE WE ARE DESTITUTE

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Change is, as the saying goes, the only constant. It is also the thing that most of us resist, even when the change appears positive, and certainly when the change seems out of our control.
And yet every change, large or small, is another opportunity for growth, for learning and for a new discovery of who we are and how we handle life’s experiences.

A young man I know (I’ll call him Grant), has an unusual capacity for resisting any kind of change. He sticks in a job that he doesn’t like; he goes only to the places that he is familiar with; he won’t try anything to eat that he hasn’t had before (this makes for a very restricted menu!) and he backs away from conversation that may stretch his comfort level. He appears to limit himself so much by avoiding any kind of potential change or challenge, that he has created a cocoon of apparent safety that protects him from any of life’s adventures.

On the other hand, perhaps Grant is not so unusual. If he is a mirror for even a piece of you, ask yourself if you don’t feel a little lacking, a little stuck. Hand yourself some small change – there is plenty to spare – and you won’t have to be destitute.

In peace
Warren

The prices of our books in Canadian dollars have been reduced to reflect the exchange rate with the U.S., even though they are published in Canada. Check out the books on the websites and pick up something for yourself and as a gift for someone you care about.
Warren Redman

http://www.blogger.com/ warren@EFitInstitute.com

(403) 245-5463 or toll free 1-866-310-EFit (3348)

Don't Be a Back-seat Driver in Your Own Life

Equilibrium February 15 , 2008

DON'T BE A BACK-SEAT DRIVER IN YOUR OWN LIFE

from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness

Some months ago I listened to a woman (let’s call her Kate) calling me long-distance. “I should have taken that opportunity when it came up,” she told me. “Now I feel it’s passed me by.”

A few minutes later she wondered out loud if she should leave her current comfortable but far from challenging job to pursue a career in the area that was of great interest to her. As she talked about it I could hear the energy in her voice rising. In another moment, her tone flattening once more, she said “I don’t think it’s sensible to make such a move right now; why would I want to take that kind of risk until I’m sure I could make it work?”

Kate seemed to be listening to the cautious, though well-meaning, voices in her head that didn’t belong to her. It transpired that she had held herself back through her whole life because she wanted to please others who wanted her to ‘be happy’ and ‘not do anything foolish’. It was as though she was not driving her own life but rather sitting in the back seat watching for any danger spots in the road and calling out to whoever was driving to be careful.

Last week, on our regular call, she reported that she had landed her first big contract in her new business and was enthusiastic about the year ahead for the first time that she could remember.

She was in the driving-seat, going in the direction she wanted and enjoying every minute.

In peace

Warren